Love yourself
As children we were led away from our own inner knowing and taught about the world in a way that fosters many “flawed premises” about who we are and the nature of reality. That’s OK. We came to forget so that we could experience the journey of remembering who we really are. In that journey of remembering, we grow and expand to be more than we were.
One of the most pervasive flawed premises is the one that says it is vain and selfish to love ourselves. We are taught that we must put the needs of others before our own and that our own desires do not matter. This idea is one of the beliefs that hold people back from living the lives they want. It causes many people to choose career paths that live up to the expectations of parents, spouses and society, rather than tune in to what truly gives them joy. Have you ever heard someone say, “If you really loved me you would……..(fill in the blank). This is pure manipulation, but so many fall for it. A person saying that to you is suffering from a lack of self-love as well, and looking for you to provide them with what they have not found within themselves. No one can do that for another person.
Being out of sync with what you came here to do as your highest purpose (which is also your highest joy) can take its toll on you, not only in terms of happiness, but can lead to illness in the physical body. The truth is that when you make the bold choice to live life the way that feels best to you, others benefit in ways they would not have imagined. Even if they resist or leave you, they are benefited by the lessons this brings up for them.
Recently I have been listening to a wonderful intuitive spiritual teacher, Matt Kahn. Matt has a profound and very simple practice that can create huge shifts in our ability to love ourselves–to love our own hearts. Simply place your hand on your heart and say to yourself, “I love you.” Do it many times a day and do it when things come up for you that don’t feel good. If you feel anxious, love the one who is anxious. If you feel angry, love the one who is angry. If you feel like a failure, love the one who feels like a failure. By doing this you allow your feelings and can simply be with them in a loving state. They are simply coming up for you to be released from your field. When we try to suppress our feelings they hang around and get bigger. By first loving your own heart, you are then able to truly love others. As you practice this it gets easier and the feeling of love deepens. From this place you can make choices that are in alignment with your true nature, which is love, eternal and divine.
photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/65949820@N07/6048393382/”>krisiGee</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>
Hello Estra,
You described so well your recent experience with Bella and her delightful qualities. How beautiful to see that she remembers who she really is. You are so right. We were once the same way until we learned (or were taught) the “ways of the world.” Thank you for the reminder that living your highest purpose is always living with joy.
Warm regards,
Mary Beth
Thanks, Mary Beth, for your thoughtful comments. Living with joy and loving ourselves, while not always taught, are the very things that allow us to thrive and be of service to others! children are our reminders of who we really are.